They say he left seven months before I arrived. Curious to learn about him, I asked those who knew him “Who is he?” Each one gave a distinct portrait – the universal verdict being ‘he was a caring and loving individual’. I learnt that he had studied law, had taken film making as his profession, social upliftment was his passion and human equality his motto. He could be hilariously funny and uniquely mischievous; friendly in all his interactions gaining respect from both young and old; he was a pillar of strength to society, a founder of multitudes of organisations and institutions; a creative film director with a sincere humane heart; the father of nine legends and grandfather to fourteen more – including me!
Having heard all they had to say, I wondered, “Now, do I know him?” Well, I realised the question should actually be, “Did any of them really know him?” Each interesting facet of his personality is merely a part of him and adding those parts will still not reveal the personality of Director K.Subrahmanyam, for the whole is much greater than a mere sum of its parts!
I’ve been reminded on several occasions, at times even envied, how fortunate I am to have begun my journey from the womb of such a talented family. A wave of gratitude certainly sweeps over me at being blessed into this illustrious family. Yet I wonder… Aren’t mediocre seeds sown in fertile soil capable of rising to greater potential than the best of seed sown on rocky land? Indeed my blessing is not only in being bestowed with the best of qualities as a seed, but also in having grown in the fertile soil of my life’s individual interactions with every human being I have been fortunate to connect with.
The debate of nature versus nurture goes on without apparent conclusions, for the genetic endowments of nature need environmental support to nurture any form of life. If Gregor Mendel’s genetic theories validate the presence of creative genes in our family, I confess we haven’t much to be proud of, for we have not chosen our genetic blue prints. But science also confesses that these genetic blue prints manifest only through our choices and the influence of the environment. We of the K.Subrahmanyam family have all been bequeathed genetically with the basic urge to create. Society has nurtured each one to choose a different field for expression.
I also firmly believe, that quite apart from genetically transferring creative genes to his progeny, K.Subrahmanyam dreamt of passing on his ‘acquired traits’ of humility and compassion, transparency devoid of hypocrisy, simplicity and detachment to his loved ones.
‘I wonder if you were successful Thatha’, I whispered within my heart. The gentle reply came – ‘Those acquired traits don’t need genes to spread. They are transferred by a meeting of souls – by a flow of energy through the medium of love’. In a flash I realised, no wonder the evolution of this world is so slow. How many million years of life forms need to evolve if divine love has to grow genetically? How fortunate are those revered sages, who understanding this limitation of genetic transfer, choose instead to spread their life energy through divine love. And how blessed are those few who proudly acknowledge the lineage of their forefathers – not for their genetic transfers but for meeting their blessed souls that guide them. If Mendel’s genetic theory elates my ego as ‘pure blood’, Darwin’s theories on evolution remind my conscience that all men came from the same ape! It is reckless freedom to rejoice this genetic blessing without the responsibility of acquiring those desirable traits.
The consciousness of ‘I’ develops in a human child between the age of nine and twelve months. Physically he begins to separate his body from other objects only then. But psychologically the consciousness of ‘I’ begins with our sense of belonging to a family unit. Indeed my identity as ‘Gita’ began with my connection in time with my maternal and paternal grandparents. As I grew older, I missed not to have experienced my paternal grandfather K.Subrahmanyam, who remained a mosaic of other people’s perceptions. But today, this longing has been satisfied.
The strains of music of Rajaji’s “Kurai ondrum Illai” in the golden voice of Smt.M.S.Subbulakshmi awakened in my mind.
Behold! You stand without any pretence
Yet visible only to the wise ones eyes
No longings have I, no regrets for my past
No desires, Oh Krishna! Neither needs nor wants!
My eyes fill with tears for I now realise, I don’t have to search into the past for a glimpse of my ancestors, for the beginning of ‘me’. ‘I’ remain eternally present for ‘they’ are now ‘me’. Before you jump to conclusions, let me clarify; I most certainly do not imply rebirth or reincarnation. All I mean is the meeting of our souls, the transference of energy, the flow of love, that sense of becoming ‘me’. Time has moulded my ancestors to become ‘me’ for how else, dear thatha, could I love ‘you’ as ‘me’.
Written by Gita Krishna Raj on 27th March 2004. | Read his mini bio here: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0836994/bio/
