Hidden within me

There was once an argument among the gods over where to hide the secret of life so that men and women would not find it. One god said: Bury it under a mountain; they will never look there. No, the others said, one day they will find ways to dig up mountains and will uncover it. Another said : Sink it in the depths of the ocean; it will be safe there. No the others objected, humans will one day find a way to plumb the ocean’s depths and find it easily. How about among the planets and black holes? came a suggestion. But hey, man will get there too, and soon, they retorted. Finally another god said: Put it inside them; men and women will never think of looking for it there. All the gods agreed, and the secret of life was hidden within us. – An ancient story.

The screen remained blank.  Science had been trying for what seemed like ages, trying to help his child get inspired.  But here she was at a total loss for words.  Oh! I don’t give up that easily, thought Science.  Here let us try this…

The popular science e-magazine is one of the most brilliant piece of technology that combines the wisdom of science with the art of design in a language absolutely simple to follow for even the uninitiate.  There were articles on gadgets and innovations, evolution and discovery, on human anatomy, expanding universes, space and time, human emotions and everything known to man.  But nothing seemed to ignite that spark.

Maybe she needs a little more of a challenge.  Let me see if this works, thought Science. 

The inner life of quarks, the language of the brain, black holes, stem cells, DNA – the thoughts of the most brilliant of men and women to ever walk on planet earth, were chronicled in Scientific American.  If reading a paragraph in this was not inspiring – you were either not human or more often, simply did not understand.  It was definitely the latter, but the former also seemed true for her.  What always brought the sparkle to her eye did not even make her bat an eyelid this time.  Something was truly wrong…

God:  Did you just think of me?

Science:  Eh? What?  (Shaking his head)  Oh sorry father. But actually I did not. We have had many a conversation and I know many more will follow, but right now I would like to talk to her…

He pointed to me sitting in front of my computer with not a syllable typed, long past my deadline to submit this article for publication.

Science:  Hey what is your problem?  Why are you shutting me out?

Me:  I don’t think I could even if I wanted to my dear Science… But…

Science:  But you no longer find me interesting, is that it?

Me:  You do an amazing job of trying to delve into the tiniest of spaces,  dissecting every atom, and breaking down sub-atomic particles; you have helped build telescopes that can see the farthest corner of the universe, only to let us know even that is very very near when compared to the rest of the universe;  you have shown us the miracle of how a fetus becomes a human being; how every one of the hundred trillion cells actually work to keep man alive;  you have helped us build technology that never seemed possible in the wildest of man’s dreams;   you have changed my very concept of life every time you helped me understand a little more about the miracle of existence;  yet…

Science:  Yet what my dear?  You hardly know anything… there are many many more mysteries that I have helped solve; things that will take you several lifetimes to even begin to comprehend.  And several more that are just round the corner – discoveries that will blow your mind at the intricacies I am capable of unveiling; inventions that will change the very concept of life on earth for human kind.  All you need to do is just read one more article, one more page, one more news on the progress my children are actually doing…

Me:  My dearest Science, I love you loads. You have helped me understand not just about the universe and about human beings, you have given me the experience of ‘understanding’.  I will ever be grateful to you for that.  And no, this ain’t goodbye!  We have a lot of work together, a lot that I know needs to be done.  But…

Science:  But what my dear?

Me:  Do you remember the words of Albert Einstein? “A human being is a part of the whole, called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest- a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and of a foundation for inner security.”

Science:  Isn’t that just what I am trying to do?  Widen your understanding of this entire universe? Helping mankind see the common thread that weaves across everything that exists…

Me:  You most certainly are, my dear.  But right now I don’t really want to ‘understand’ the universe or the way the brain works, or why litmus paper is used, or why carbon is so important for life, or when the dinosaurs went extinct. I don’t want to know why quarks behave as they do, why light is simultaneously a wave and a particle, why gravity doesn’t work in the microscopic levels… or even why we die!  What will I do knowing about the male and female anatomy when I cannot stop a man from rape?  What is the use of understanding how strong the nuclear forces are when I cannot make the bond in a marriage strong enough?  What difference does it make how we generate electricity or increase our agricultural produce when I still have a thousand people dying from hunger everyday?  No my dear science, somewhere humans have lost the bus… this is not our destination and it most certainly doesn’t look like it is leading us down the right path… something must be done… Right now. Right here.

Science:  That is the main problem my dear!  I am not here to ‘fix’ the problems.  Most of mankind is trying to use me for that.  I will never be able to stop another rape or make you more compassionate or feed the millions.  I am here to just help you understand with the hope that from that understanding man will mature to will such a transformation.  I provide the insight, you need to implement it to fix the problem.  Just understanding doesn’t make it go away… It is every individual’s responsibility to make it happen… You most certainly are right – you are not ready for a conversation right now, because now is not a time to understand but a time to experience.  You know whom to ask for that…

I smiled.  It was time to hear the voice of my God…

God:

The screen remained blank after I typed God.  I kept looking at the screen…  Was the miracle of existence no longer exciting for me? Of course not – if anything it was more alive, more vibrant than ever.  Did I really believe Science was a waste of man’s time?  Most certainly not.  Without this understanding, we would have remained animals.  Had I simply lost the ability to write?  I wonder if you are really reading this 🙂

I realize my affair with science started years ago because he always made me wonder, made me stand in awe, made me excited to understand.  He still does and will always continue to.  But something within me has changed. 

It no longer surprises me when the unexpected is revealed because my God cannot be ‘defined’.  It no longer is unimaginable when the unimaginable is proven because my God is ‘unimaginable’.  My awe at the intelligence of mankind for discovering such intricate details is not the ultimate for now I am speechless experiencing the divine intelligence of my creator… The high I got knowing that I ‘understood’ is now replaced with tears that trickle as I experience Him…  The drive ‘to know’ has been replaced by the peace ‘to be…’ The secret I searched all over the universe is no longer hidden. I feel it in me.

This ain’t goodbye Science, we shall soon be in touch combining ‘understanding’ with ‘experience’, for thou art a child of God. 

But so am I… So am I…

Love you, Gita

Written by Gita Krishna Raj  |  Published in infinithoughts in March 2013

When Science met God… |  Segment Eight: A Tryst with God  |  Chapter Four: Hidden within me

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